Category: Can’t

From “Can’t” to “CAN”!” Following my doctor’s advice to leave my career in management and focus on my health I found that I was using my health as an excuse to say, “I can’t” as an excuse to not do anything I didn’t want to do even though, I felt perfectly fine. I have missed many great opportunities and experiences because of this self-defeating habit. I realize that if I said “I can”, more my life would be more enriched and I would feel more empowered and less a victim. This simple exercise has been so transforming and I am so grateful!

Jon, California

I have had trouble with overdrinking for some time. I decided to use the opportunity of Lent to let go of this habit. I have done several thirty day “dry-outs” when I’ve had to bear down on myself, and say: “You can’t drink this weekend! You can’t have just one more drink!”, white-knuckling through the process.
When I chose to give up the word ‘can’t’ last week, at the same time that I chose to give up alcohol, I was unable to use the mantra to which I was accustomed. I realized I’d have to say something else to myself besides “You can’t!” over and over again. But what would I say instead, to keep myself on the path of abstinence I had chosen for Lent?
I realized that I need not think of the problem in terms of words. I could let a silence occur, and make room for God. When I began to think of alcohol this time, I just tried to be still and feel myself longing for something more than a constant struggle to calm anxieties. With that longing came a sense that not only did I want peace, but that peace was wanted for me.

Taj

Limiting myself by saying what I cannot do is a practice I underwent far too often. “I can’t sing that high, I can’t figure this out, I can’t keep this up” – whenever I made up my mind that something was not going to happen, I accepted that thought as conclusive. I gave up the word ‘cannot’ to try and push my limits, finding that there’s a lot of truth to the clichéd ‘you can do anything you put your mind to’. By not allowing myself to bow out when things got tough, I learned a lot about my capabalities, especially as a singer and a student. With singing, I found that I’m a natural soul singer, a style which had intimidated me because of its powerful sound; while, as a student, it became quickly apparent that getting off your high horse and asking for help goes a long way.

Spencer

Limiting myself by saying what I cannot do is a practice I underwent far too often. “I can’t sing that high, I can’t figure this out, I can’t keep this up” – whenever I made up my mind that something was not going to happen, I accepted that thought as conclusive. I gave up the word ‘cannot’ to try and push my limits, finding that there’s a lot of truth to the clichéd ‘you can do anything you put your mind to’. By not allowing myself to bow out when things got tough, I learned a lot about my capabalities, especially as a singer and a student. With singing, I found that I’m a natural soul singer, a style which had intimidated me because of its powerful sound; while, as a student, it became quickly apparent that getting off your high horse and asking for help goes a long way.

Spencer

I selected the word can’t. After being highly motivated in a study group reading Made to Crave, I had a spark to do things I hadn’t been able to do like eating well and exercising. The book helped me connect all things to Christ who strengthens me. As the months passed, that same motivation was lost.
I immediately shared this project with my family and my accountability group that meets on Wednesday mornings. Knowing I had two groups that would inquire how it went, worked harder at it and did it! Each time I resisted something or got up at 4:30 a.m. to exercise, I was so very proud and felt closer to God as I felt like I was taking advantage of his strength and power. My part was to ACT!

Laura, TX

I gave up the word can’t, originally to keep myself from wiggling into laziness while working on an exercise program. I wanted to prevent myself from making excuses why I can’t workout at a given time. But I was also dieting and found I was constantly telling myself what I can’t eat, so I had to think twice about how to look at my diet. By using a selective word choice, saying won’t instead of can’t, I felt empowered. When I say I can’t eat certain foods, it’s as if I’m being controlled by this horrible thing we call a diet and it was a relentless struggle. But in saying I won’t eat these things it made me realize that I was making a conscious choice and becoming the boss of my eating habits, not the other way around.

Tedi, MA