… for a week. A practice for all people, a week long challenge to give up a WORD that your life would be better without.
I gave up the word “now”. As in work: I must get this done right NOW. As in my kids: Get in the bath NOW! The world is full of too much NOW. “Now” make me anxious. It makes me feel like I’m on deadline and already behind. By dropping the word, I allowed myself to breathe easier knowing, eventually, it will all get done.
Jeanie, TX
I selected the word can’t. After being highly motivated in a study group reading Made to Crave, I had a spark to do things I hadn’t been able to do like eating well and exercising. The book helped me connect all things to Christ who strengthens me. As the months passed, that same motivation was lost.
I immediately shared this project with my family and my accountability group that meets on Wednesday mornings. Knowing I had two groups that would inquire how it went, worked harder at it and did it! Each time I resisted something or got up at 4:30 a.m. to exercise, I was so very proud and felt closer to God as I felt like I was taking advantage of his strength and power. My part was to ACT!
Laura, TX
The morning I decided to give up “humph” a professor was speaking on Book TV with inordinate “black pride”. Instead of reacting with “Humph, does she know we have a black president?” I listened. And I learned. And I learned a great deal. I bought her book and am still learning with deep compassion.
The next day I was annoyed to have to sit through a presentation of an opposing view. Instead of “humph”, I listened compassionately. And I gleaned a great number of holes in the opposing view that probably would have gone undetected. This strengthened my view and brought a welcome sense of peace about the topic! (I then said “humph” to myself for having ever stopped listening compassionately.)
Scott, VA
The word I’ve given up is “should’ve.” “Should” is a dangerous word in the spiritual life, in my opinion, yet I often find myself at the end of the day telling myself that “I should’ve done this or that.” The accompanying sense of ‘falling short’ detracts from what has been done and leaves a residue of regret rather than gratitude. Better to recall the words we sometimes pray at Compline: “What has been done has been done. What has not been done has not been done. Help us to let it be.”
David, MA
For me, this includes the act of fear as well as the word itself. There is great joy in my life just now, and immense relief, and the one thing that keeps me from being free in prayer, it seems, is fear – from the “what ifs” to that strange inner resistance we sometimes encounter towards holding still for prayer.
The first day, I found fear arising in the background as my husband awaited final word on a job offer. It helped to deliberately turn toward God within and keep reaffirming trust for whatever outcome we might be facing. [He got the job!] Being in community as I deliberately turned away from fear toward God made the wisdom of turning more believable, and afforded accountability. As perfect loves casts out fear, I consider this adventure together an act of love.
June
I gave up the word “strange” for several weeks. No more strange persons. No more strange situations. I found that I used the word to dismiss things, but more importantly, I discovered that I used the word to hide what I truly felt about something. Over the last few weeks, in the space of strange I gradually began to ask myself what is strange, how do I feel about what I would normally call strange. Behind the word was often an unspoken hurt or fear I didn’t want to experience. Somehow the word strange sanitized an experience and made it manageable. Now, my fears and anxieties are becoming clearer, and as a result, I feel I am moving towards new life. Seeing the world through my eyes. Seeing myself more clearly. Opening myself to God’s presence…and the realization of my need. Aaagh! …And I give God thanks.
Gerone
I gave up the word despair.
It was a little tough at the beginning but I found if I kept a gratitude/blessings list handy any time my mind would head over to what we don’t have.
As the week progressed both my husband and I felt much better about our lot in life. As they say, we might not have everything we want but we have exactly what we need.
Em
2011 was a challenging year for me; it started with the death of my mother and ended with my law firm hitting a new stride in the Far East. Bad things and good, stress and “eustress”, but STRESSED 24/7!
I have been able to stop myself from using the word both verbally AND in my head: eliminating the concept of “stressed” internally has been even more powerful than refraining from using the word with my mouth. Each time I’d start to think about how “str**** out” I was…I stopped. Instead, I’ve been “challenged”. To quote your website, “we all have words that our day would be better without…”
Am I LESS “stressed” as a result? Well, I would describe a certain empowering, almost a self-respect response, kind of like when you stick to a workout regimen for many weeks. I’m up for the “challenges” of 2012!
Jose, FL
The phrase I chose to give up this week was “I hate.” In giving up “I hate,” I was disturbed by how liberally I use it—not so much to describe whole people, but more often people’s habits that irritate me. “I hate it when people are late… I hate it when people are disorganized… I hate it when people are competitive…” So often, if I’m honest with myself, I realize that my own frailties and shortcomings are the real object of my hatred towards others—frailties and shortcomings that are easier to point out as what “I hate” about someone else instead of reckoning with the unresolved hatred I still harbor toward these parts of myself. In the prayer that has accompanied my fasting from “I hate,” I’ve discovered that these shadow sides of myself are also the places where God is longing to show me mercy, and through which God is calling me into deeper relationship.
Edmund, RI
The phrase I chose to give up this week was “I hate.” In giving up “I hate,” I was disturbed by how liberally I use it—not so much to describe whole people, but more often people’s habits that irritate me. “I hate it when people are late… I hate it when people are disorganized… I hate it when people are competitive…” So often, if I’m honest with myself, I realize that my own frailties and shortcomings are the real object of my hatred towards others—frailties and shortcomings that are easier to point out as what “I hate” about someone else instead of reckoning with the unresolved hatred I still harbor toward these parts of myself. In the prayer that has accompanied my fasting from “I hate,” I’ve discovered that these shadow sides of myself are also the places where God is longing to show me mercy, and through which God is calling me into deeper relationship.
Edmund, RI