Regret

Technically, I did not give up the word, regret. I didn’t say it out loud, but I found myself repeating it over and over internally. And it was difficult because I was stirring up all the emotions of regret. It has been important and helpful, though emotionally draining, to not necessarily reexamine the cause of regrets, but the place the regret now takes in my life. And the timing is just right as a sort of anniversary of one regret is upon me. My struggle and hope during this process has been to put regret in its place and not let it define me or shape my future, because it is oh, so tempting to do so. I made a list of all the life-giving, positive things I have done over the year, I highlighted the goodness in relationships I have, and I thought about how I have been held by God through it all. I did not see regret there. I saw beautiful things, and that, I think is how I shall define myself, regrets or no.

Rosemary, MA